Drama or Trauma
Pastor Lonny Bingle
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
The Apostle Paul, writing to the church at Philippi, commands us not to allow anxiety (fear and stress) in our lives. This is more than a suggestion, insinuating that we can choose not to walk under stress. I realize that all of us face life’s situations daily. Investing time and energy in things beyond our control is called stress or worry. This activity is unproductive, as it does not bring about change or make us feel better about a situation. But despite this, we are often tricked into thinking that by worrying, we are helping. Yet what we should do instead of worrying is to put all our energy into thoughts and actions that can make a difference. Remember that command: “Do not be anxious about anything!” We could stop right there and realize that worry and stress have no place in the life of a believer. I know we all struggle with things; sometimes, getting our minds where they belong isn't easy. The urgency, severity, and potential consequences of a situation are directly related to the amount of stress we allow. I define stress as “Trying to assume responsibility for things you cannot change!”
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the number of adults dealing with stress is rising. More than 32 percent of adults in a recent survey reported symptoms of anxiety and depression within the last few weeks. That means that one-third of the population at any given time is dealing with anxiety and depression – one out of three! The cause of long-term stress varies and includes financial challenges, problems at work or home, dealing with the death of a loved one, being a caregiver for someone with an illness, or coping with long-term health issues, according to experts in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Many of these stressors can result in a number of both emotional and physical health problems.
I can’t tell you how often I have had somebody in counseling brooding over their past. I can empathize with them, but that will never help move them forward. I can spend months giving them therapy, trying to discover what led to their condition, but that won’t move them forward. I can give them mental exercises that provide some coping mechanisms, but simply coping with the past will not move them forward. As a child of God and Pastor, my approach to counseling was founded upon the knowledge that I was a man of God first, a disciple of Jesus second, a preacher of God’s word third, and a therapist last. Please understand my heart; I genuinely believe that if it weren’t for counselors and therapists, many good people would have been destroyed because that is the nature of our enemy. Satan would love to take people out before they become a child of God, a disciple renewing their minds, or living out their purpose in Christ. I, however, understand that we are not called to cope with this world or our situations; we have already overcome them because of the greater one who dwells within us.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 ESV
“Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”
1 John 4:4 ESV
“For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith.”
1 John 5:4 ESV
Many different philosophies and tools are available to help cope with stress and steps one can take to combat it. Still, as I have mentioned, we are to move beyond simply coping with stress and move into an overcoming mentality toward any situation we may face. We need a solid foundation in Christ to deal with life's problems effectively. Unfortunately, we tend to repetitively ignore the principles of renewing our minds in the name of deliverance and healing. Many return repeatedly, looking for a quick fix to their problems by having hands laid upon them in the name of ministry. Again, I thoroughly believe in laying on of hands. I also know that the action of laying on of hands does not absolve or replace personal responsibility through renewing our minds. I am all about seeing people set free with their minds renewed to the word of God, but I do not favor pseudo methodologies in the name of the Lord that do not produce any lasting results.
It's common today to turn routine day-to-day tasks into major ordeals in our heads. I consider drama to be when someone creates stress for themselves about mundane circumstances that everybody else experiences. People can become obsessed with turning minor issues into big ones to get attention. Individuals frequently bring up their problems and talk about them constantly to gain sympathy and validation from those they speak to. They make it look like their struggles are the worst anyone has ever faced, disregarding that someone else has likely had tougher times than them. When I hear somebody constantly complaining about their life and how tough it is, I can’t help but question their relationship with the Lord. With the Holy Spirit in our lives, He is the greatest counselor we could ever have. As I have said, I am not against therapy, but I believe we have a responsibility before the Lord to renew our minds to the Word of God. We should never turn our drama into imaginary trauma as it minimizes those who have experienced genuine trauma. Let me explain.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, often known as the “DSM,” is a reference book on mental health and brain-related conditions and disorders. The DSM-5 definition of trauma requires “actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence” [10] (p. 271). Stressful events not involving an immediate threat to life or physical injury, such as psychosocial stressors [4] (e.g., divorce or job loss), are not considered trauma in this definition. Taking that a bit further in explanation, we recognized that trauma is an exposure to one of the above by directly experiencing the traumatic event(s) and witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others or learning that the traumatic event(s) happened to a close family member or close friend. Everyday experiences and stressors do not qualify as trauma. If those experiences are designated as trauma, it reduces the importance of those struggling with different levels of trauma. Stress can be drama, but it does not rise to the level of trauma.
Michel de Montaigne said five hundred years ago, "My life has been filled with terrible misfortune, most of which never happened." Cornell University recently conducted a study that proves this statement. The study focused on how many situations people worried about and never came to pass. Subjects wrote down their worries over time and identified which issues never materialized. It turns out that 85 percent of those imagined misfortunes were unfounded; for the 15 percent that did happen, 79 percent of the subjects smiled retrospectively, believing they handled it better than expected or found something valuable in their difficulty. In other words, only 3 percent of our worries could be taken seriously. Most people get better returns on their investments than that—ironically, one of their investments may be the stock market.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its joy.” – Leo F. Buscaglia.
Montaigne's joke has been making people laugh for 500 years, but stress is not a laughing matter. Worry has strong links to serious health issues: the hormones it releases into our brains have been proven to cause brain mass shrinkage, lower IQs, increase susceptibility to heart disease and cancer, and lead to premature aging. Additionally, constant worry can contribute to marital problems, family dysfunction, depression, dementia, and Alzheimer's in the elderly. Learning to deal with concerns when they arise can drastically improve our chances of living longer, happier, and more successful lives.
It is time for the church of God to demonstrate how big our God is and show the miracle of a sound mind to the world. Sometimes, the most effective witness is simply living a life pleasing to the Lord and allowing the peace of God that passes understanding to minister to those around us. What a privilege we have to be called the children of God and walk free from the stressors of our day. If you find yourself stressing over issues, stop, take a moment, breathe, and get before the Lord of peace, and allow Him to minister to you personally. Let your light shine before men so they, too, may glorify our God.